Take his gifting more literally this year.

Animal Farm
He’ll feel more human wearing Wolf vs. Goat, a new clothing line from local shopkeeper Mauro Farinelli and his partner, Heather Karpoff. Quality-tailored plaid shirts with mother-of-pearl buttons and a secret pocket and brand-new exclusive work pants and peacoats. How novel.

The Secret Garden (a.k.a. The Red Badge of Courage)
He won’t need to read between the lines after you get a customized bikini landscape from Ibiza Day Spa and Salon. Using new Satin Smooth waxes, the “gardener” will brand you with a custom shape (giving new meaning to Redskins pride).

Fahrenheit 451
Spice things up with a personalized gallon of Tabasco sauce, complete with custom label. His sauce will be boss.

The Elements of Style
You love him dearly. But the low riders have gotta go. Clean up his look with an After Hours private styling session at Lost Boys. Bribe his closest friends (cash, beer, a home-cooked meal) to join in on a crash course on the dos and don’ts of dressing in designers like Steven Alan and Band of Outsiders.

The Lord of the Rings
Sure, he can throw back the brewskies, but can he please. stop. leaving. them. on. the. new. table? Teach him to coast with Shara Porter’s recycled leather coasters. The masculine wares come stamped with images of a T. rex, big rig, or wrench. Grrr.

The Turn of the Screw
Button him up with a customized pair of cuff links from local jeweler Pampillonia. Bring in an old class ring, a pair of coins, or other meaningful memorabilia, and the savvy jewelers will make them suitable.

It’ll be one for the books.

North Star’s not enough guiding light? Check out ShopTalk for artsy bongs, plants with feet, sleeping bag suits, and other gifts for guys.

Photos: Courtesy of Farinelli’s; Courtesy of Tabasco; Courtesy of Shara Porter; Courtesy of Pampillonia