Hark! You’ve spent many a day wandering about in your petticoat and riding habit, reenacting the Civil War, dancing gaily ’round the Maypole. But that darn flintlock musket and hoop skirt are starting to weigh you down. Not to worry: You can still live out your wacko historiofantasies (Renaissance fairs, really?) by getting a period portrait of your very own. Local artist Matt Pemberton of Gallery Melange can render you in a historically accurate costume with a background to match. Just e-mail her (yes, Matt’s a girl) a photo of yourself and specify your favorite era. She’ll hand-paint your pic in all its historical accuracy. Bodices, bonnets, bayonets — bring it. Paintings come with a gold frame and are tiny (perfect for a locket for you or your beloved). Yeah, a little silly. But also a lot of fun. What else is there to say about getting to admire yourself in that tricorn hat without having to cross the Delaware? Matt Pemberton (firstname.lastname@example.org).