No matter which side of the Fifty Shades of Grey controversy you come down on (“Who would read such poorly written garbage!?” “Who cares about sentence structure when you have kink!?”), a girl’s gotta eat.

And eat you shall. Fifty Shades of Chicken, a new cookbook/parody of the fan fiction sensation, will see to it.

Introductory recipes such as Plain Vanilla Chicken, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and Popped Cherry Pullet go easy at first. Once you’re into the swing of things, try Sticky Fingers or Dripping Thighs. Explore the edge with Spatchcocked Chicken, Spread-Eagle Chicken, and Safeword Fowl.

The jokey narrative of the book — the sexy, tension-building prose that proceeds each hot new kitchen adventure — is that of freshly plucked submissive and master chef.

It should sate your hunger for food porn.

Available at amazon.com, $13. Watch the book trailer at youtube.com.

Photo: Courtesy of Clarkson Potter