Kris Kringle, unedited.
The Santaland Diaries Continues
What: It’s your last chance to see the comical rant based on David Sedaris’s Holidays on Ice, in which he recounts his days working as Crumpet the Christmas elf at a Macy’s display.
Why: Snark meets Santa in this one-man show starring Michael McKeever.
When: Tonight & Fri., 7:30 p.m.
Where: Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd. Tickets ($35) at 305-949-6722 or online at arshtcenter.org.
The MatzoBall Returns
What: Be sure to tell bubbe you’re going to the nation’s largest Jewish night club gathering, where you’ll either meet a nice boy or drink and dance Christmas Eve away with your best friend. Win-win.
Why: It’s 1,000 marriages deep and one heck of a bash.
When: Sat., 8 p.m.-2 a.m.
Where: Liv, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Info at 561-994-2516. Tickets ($30) online at matzoball.wantickets.com.
Zerran RealLisse Vegan Hair-Smoothing System
What: Salon Vaso makes history as the first salon in Florida to offer the formaldehyde-free, 100 percent vegan Keratin treatment.
Why: So safe it’s even approved for preggos.
When: Sun. & Mon., by appt.; Tues.-Fri., 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 1500 Alton Rd., 2nd flr., Miami Beach (305-674-7470).
Christmas Eve Dinner at Edge Steak & Bar
What: Skip cooking and cleaning this year in favor of a four-course, prix fixe dinner at the new Four Seasons Miami Hotel restaurant.
Why: Winter pumpkin bisque, crispy pork belly, and duck confit with foraged mushroom strudel.
When: Sat., 6:30 p.m.
Where: 1435 Brickell Ave., Brickell. Reservations (required) to 305-381-3190.
Mia Launches Ecommerce
What: Fulfill late-night accessory binges at the local jewelry spot’s new online shop.
Why: Save 15 percent on purchases (including brands like Alexis Bittar and Satya) when you use the code DCmia at checkout thru Dec. 31.
When: You need a little something to make you sparkle, but you’re too lazy to leave the house.
Where: Online at miajewels.com.
Photo: Design Pics / Christine Giles / Getty Images