You don’t know your rasp from your elbow or your cream from your crema. And the only ounce you measure goes up in smoke — and you’re nowhere near the stove.

Here to save you from a life of Hot Pockets: Two Dudes, One Pan: Maximum Flavor from a Minimalist Kitchen by Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo — the guys whose carmel pear you’ve seen on the Food Network and whose ribs you’ve scarfed at Animal.

The book helps you eat your way through impressive but uncomplicated recipes made using minimal equipment. Whip up spicy citrus-glazed duck breasts, creamed Brussels sprouts with bacon, and a fruit of your choice upside-down cake.

Pick up tips and tricks — the right way to cut a watermelon and how to salvage burnt gravy — along the way.

Just in case things don’t pan out.

Available online at randomhouse.com.