They say life is a cabaret, old chum. They didn’t mention how much it would make you blush.

British-born proprietor Simon Hammerstein brings his infamous and utterly risque club The Box — a cult hit in downtown Manhattan — to London’s Soho, and he’s teasing us mercilessly.

The joint formally opened yesterday, but reservations won’t be taken for the first week. Formalities are shrouded in mystery for now, but we can tell you that cocktails will be served and titillating performances will take place until the early hours.

Well-polished acts combine the traditional freak show with pretty much every other genre in the book, from vaudeville to burlesque to cabaret. Expect provocative moves, naked bodies, and acts of a sexual nature. You can dance if you want to.

But you might just want to stand back and stare.

The Box, 11 Walker’s Court, at Brewer Street, W1F 0ED (theboxnyc.com).

Photo: John Chillingworth / Getty Images