Somewhere deep within, you’ve got mad skills. Unleash the dragon (or bookbinder, calligrapher, or chef) with classes, niche schools, and brain-building sessions.
That charming chaise longue you picked up at the flea market is still looking, well, flea riddled. This Bushwick crafting mecca equips you with the skills to reupholster the sucker yourself. Swanky new bedroom, here you come.
3rd Ward, 195 Morgan Avenue, between Meadow and Stagg Streets, Bushwick (718-715-4961 or 3rdward.com).
You put them in a delightful Ball jar, but those deli daisies still look drab. Grow a green thumb at the Red Hook flower studio, where ABCs are as simple as artichoke thistle, bluebell, and calla lilly.
Saipua, 147 Van Dyke Street, between Van Brunt and Conover Streets, Red Hook (718-624-2929 or saipua.com).
Before you scrawl another illegible thank-you note, polish your penmanship with a calligraphy course. Those with specific script concerns can try Certificate Design, Copperplate, or our favorite, Divine Flourishes.
Education shouldn’t stop after college. Practical, expert-led classes cost on average $25 and cover all manner of topics (chocolate making, pickup artistry, Chinatown culinary navigation). Quirkier courses won’t get prime billing on your resume, but you’ll have the satisfaction of being better in real life than on paper.
There’s nothing wrong with learning to make pasta or French pastries, but for curious cooks, nothing beats an off-kilter pickling primer or knife skills course. Get adventurous at the pig-butchering class, which yields tasty sausage snacks. The Brooklyn Kitchen, 100 Frost Street, at Meeker Avenue, Williamsburg (718-389-2982 or thebrooklynkitchen.com).
Even if you’re not planning a Parisian escape, impress your amis with perfect pronunciation of entrees during your next visit to Pastis.
French Institute Alliance Française, 22 East 60th Street, between Madison and Park Avenues (646-388-6612 or fiaf.org).
Feeling tightly wound? Nothing repairs frayed nerves like an African dance session with master choreographer Djoniba Mouflet, who chants songs and pointers while students move to a thumping beat.
Djoniba Dance Centre, 126 East 13th Street, between Third and Fourth Avenues (212-470-5929 or djoniba.com).
Nobody’s complaining about your X-rated skills, but a naughty workshop taught by trained sex educators will induce extra oohs and aahs.
Babeland, 43 Mercer Street, between Broome and Grand Streets (212-966-2120 or babeland.com).
If you consider Bettie Page and Dita Von Teese style icons, get acquainted with lady Jo Weldon, whose legendary burlesque studies will have you booty bouncing and tassel twirling in no time.
From storytelling workshops to DIY food photography, this quirky Brooklyn facility hosts classes as diverse (and as random) as you are.
Brooklyn Brainery, 515 Court Street, between West 9th and Huntington Streets, Carroll Gardens (347-292-7246 or brooklynbrainery.com).
You have no illusions of being the next Marc Jacobs, but a few sewing skills could come in handy. Master the basics with a Simple Alterations session or get funky with a panty-making workshop.
Make Workshop, 195 Chrystie Street, between Rivington and Stanton Streets, no. 402 (makeworkshop.com).
You’re destined for the spotlight, but somehow it hasn’t found you yet. Prepare for your inevitable fifteen minutes of fame with media trainer Robert Gallinsky, whose reality TV workshops equip stars-to-be for auditions and on-set obstacles.
Sky Box, 342 Maujer Street, between Morgan Avenue and Waterbury Street, Williamsburg (theskybox.org).
A quick PSA: Blowtorching isn’t a self-taught skill. The expert glass artists at this Brooklyn studio help you fashion (and yes, torch) your own glass creations, from handmade beads to stained-glass projects.
Urban Glass, 126 13th Street, between Second and Third Avenues, Gowanus (718-625-3685 or urbanglass.org).
Granted, you can’t so much as stand on a skateboard, but you’d be the next Tony Hawk with a little instruction. Get rolling at a posh skate school owned by Jennifer Loughran and X Games sponsored skater Lorena Lima. Lil Wayne’s personal coach, Adam Z. is also an instructor.
You induced giggles in grade school, caused hysteria in junior high, and killed it in college. Awaken your inner class clown at the esteemed improv school founded by chuckle masters Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, Matt Besser, and Ian Roberts.
Upright Citizens Brigade Training Center, 145 West 30th Street, between Sixth and Seventh Avenues, fourth floor (212-366-9176 or newyork.ucbtrainingcenter.com).
Call it the Black Swan Effect, but you’re all about pirouettes — if only when you’re alone in your bedroom. It’s never too late for pointers en pointe. The Greenwich Village studio grooms ambitious ballerinas of all shapes, sizes, and ages.
Your Great American Novel will be even more awesome on thick paper, with hand-sewn binding and a custom designed cover. Slightly less ambitious writers can try letterpressing their own greeting cards.
The Center for Book Arts, 28 West 27th Street, between Broadway and Sixth Avenue (212-481-0295 or centerforbookarts.org).
If phrases like “full-bodied” and “big nose” make you run for a mirror, a 101 course in wine sipping is social salvation. Try the blind tasting class to discover the subtleties of your palate or opt for crowd-pleasing picnic pairings. We won’t tell the park service what’s really in those red plastic cups.
Corkbuzz Wine Studio, 13 East 13th Street, between Fifth Avenue and University Place (646-873-6071 or corkbuzz.com).