You’re a far cry from a homemaker (maybe in your next life). But you can appreciate good design. These form-meets-functional kitchen toys will help you fake it till you make it.

Milk your day for all it’s worth with the Bialetti ...

After one too many crowd-surfing dreams, you decided to start your own garage band.

Then you realized it takes more than leather, studs, and killer dance moves to make music, so you dropped the mic and settled for a less ...

You’re missing the clean gene. You leave the bed unmade, laundry unfolded (better than dirty), and nasty dishes piled sky-high in the sink.

The inspiration to Swiffer or Hoover doesn’t strike until things start turning green.

Which is precisely why ...

One morning, in a sleepy stupor, you learned that not all coffee cups are created equal — especially when microwaves meet small glass vases (would you like some shards with that cup of joe?).

Now you’re more careful about the ...

Your thespian friends can’t see a show without intense post-production critique — this guy should’ve played that guy, the script was all fercocked — turning your low key, arty evening into a night at the soapbox (starring IKnowitall and NoIdo).

They’ll eat their ...

September is Illinois Wine Month (yippeee!). Please imbibe safely.

SEE
Dr. Amazing, Your Country Needs You
What: Annoyance Productions presents a rip-roaring comedy with werewolves, aliens, and, of course, space Nazis.
Why: Fulfill your fantasies.
When: Thurs., 8 p.m.
Where: Annoyance ...

On life’s list of virtues, patience isn’t in your top five (okay, ten).

However many deep breaths (and muscle relaxers) you take, you just can’t stop things from getting under your skin.

So why don’t you let someone else give ...