Carboholics Anonymous

Girl: Hi, my name is Cindy … and I’m an addict.

Group: Hi, Cindy.

Cindy: I love bagels. Thought I’d kicked the habit, but now that Bagel on Damen’s open, I’ve been using.

I have shmear-filled dreams. Crazy, right? I could eat the homemade stuff with a spoon: cheddar horseradish, white truffle pine nut, shiitake rosemary, honey walnut. If my husband knew, he’d be steamed. Kind of like a bagel. (Starts to cry.)

I’ve tried just drinking the Stumptown coffee. Figure it’s so good I’d forget the bagels. Same for homemade soups, Mexican Coke, deviled eggs. But the bagels are there, taunting. One sniff, and I’m gone.

Bagel breakfast sandwiches with bacon and eggs, pizza bagels, hummus and veggies … I can’t stop. It’s like I’m filling a hole.

Group: The hole’s in the bagel, Cindy. Not you.

Bagel on Damen, 1252 North Damen Avenue, at Potomac Street (773-772-2243).

Photo: Biskuit / Flickr